Global disaster: Twitter goes down

Oh dear god, nooo!!! The unimaginable has happened. Draw the curtains, gather the family near. This is not going to be easy.

Twitter .. is not working.

This is unthinkable. How will we know whether @StephenFry has had his poo today?

How will the lonely, 50-something, lifetime socialist spinster behind the facade of the gorgeous, pouting @BevaniteEllie be able continue to praise the Labour party for everything from making the sun come up this morning to inventing kittens?

How will @oleuanna and @trouserquandry be able to continue their wildly fucking irritating online flirt-a-thon?

How will the poor intern who has to pretend to be @johnprescott manage to dispense gritty pearls of Northern wisdom?

What, in short, will become of Western civilization?

CF couldn't give a flying fuck, frankly.

It's far too hot. Time for a cold beer, and a 'real' conversation with someone in the same room..



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6 comments:

The Last Of The Few said...

And you noticed that trouser quandry oleunna thing as well.

Thank god......thought i was the odd one out.

Chris said...

I believe this was the subject of an animated comedy skit.

The conceit was that if you EVER draw attention to how pointless Twitter actually is then the entire Twitterverse suffers a mental BSOD, the servers fry, and the failwhale manifests to devour the slow and helpless.

We can only hope...

Rab C. Nesbitt said...

I imagine Obo is rocking back and forward sucking his thumb and mumbling to himself!!

Uncle Bob said...

No wonder Dale's decide to go on holiday.

Maybe there was so many twits that a giant twattish explosion was inevitable. Ergo, Dave was right all along!

JuliaM said...

Over at 'CiF' the conspiracy theorists are gently coming to the boil...

Henry Crun said...

Twitter = haiku for morons.