The Daily Telegraph, for many years a staunchly right wing paper, has been accused recently of changing its political clothes, and snuggling up to the Labour party. No, CF can't begin to guess why either.
CF finds himself in possession of today's copy. (Readers should note that this was purchased only to procure the 'free' bottle of water, for medical reasons. Dehydration. Well, hangover.).
But, while the damn thing's here, let's have a little browse, shall we? Oh, here's an interesting story, top of page 3.
A woman in Peterborough got pissed, then got it into her head that she should top herself. Being pissed, she decided the best way to end it all was to drive head-on into another car.
The silly bitch failed to off herself, but did manage to seriously injure some other poor sod, in the car she hit. As a result, she's been banged up for a few months.
A reasonably juicy story, and - of course - several lessons to be learned for all of us there, m'kay?
But one thing absent from this story is any political angle. It's got drink, it's got fast cars, serious injury and a prison sentence. Just no politics.
So how does the story open? What's the very first line in the Telegraph?
"The wife of a Conservative councillor has been jailed.."
Ah! Now all becomes clear. She's no ordinary person; in fact - are you listening Hattie? - she's not a person in her own right at all, she's someone's wife. And that 'someone', that man, who is clearly behind all of this, has political affiliations. With the - ugh - Conservative party.
Take note everyone, the Tories are evil bastards, and if elected will proceed to slay hundreds in alcohol- fueled suicide attempts. Vote Labour, and prevent this madness.
Did we get that right?