5 more lies : 5 more years?

Now that Gordon Brown and the Labour party appear to be confident of victory in the next election, they're churning out the lies and spin with renewed energy.

Broon has deigned to give an exclusive interview to those handwringing ponces over at the Guardian, in which he outlines Labour's 5 election pledges.

There seems to be a 'bonus' pledge too, about not getting rid of Alistair 'Badger' Darling, but we'll have to wait to see what Blinky Balls thinks of that, won't we?

The lucky reporters treated to all of this had their heads wedged so far up Gordo's arse that you can barely hear what they're saying, but the little card is faithfully reproduced by the Graun' and here. Ready for the pledges?

  • Secure the recovery
  • Raise Family Living Standards
  • Build a high tech economy
  • Protect frontline services
  • Strengthen fairness in communities

That's it, is it? After 13 fucking years, you want 5 more, to do that, do you Gordo'?

And what in the name of fuckwittery do you mean by 'strengthen fairness in communites'? Did you just think of some words we might like and stick them together? 'improving kindness in welfare'; 'allowing generous chocolate nurses'? What the fuck?

And as for the rest, well, no-one could disagree that you should 'raise family living standards' and 'secure the economy'. It's just that you and  your fucking hopeless little chums have just spent the last 13 years proving that you are completely fucking incapable of doing either of those things.

Oh, for fucks sake. Well, CF doesn't even need to sum up, as evil Tory Theresa May has done it for him:

"How can five more years of him possibly be the answer to the challenges facing this country?"

Well, exactly.



Captain Haddock said...

Might it be possible, just possible that this is all part of some horrendous Labour "Master plan" .. ??

The thought of FIVE more years of this shower of shit is enough to make ordinary, hard-working, tax-paying Britons commit mass suicide ..

By doing so, that would leave McSnot with just his favoured voter base of lazy, work-shy, feckless, benefit-dependent scum .. churning out yet more generations of the same by the day ...

And not forgetting the illegal immigrants of course .. grateful that the "nice" Mr McSnot is happy to let them eat Swans & live in other peoples sheds ..

The only problem which I can foresee is, given McSnot's love of spunking money up the wall .. just who is going to make any money, to pay any Taxes, for him to spunk ??

However, I'm sure he won't let a small problem like that spoil his Socialist "paradise" ..

Antisthenes said...

Captain Haddock, you are asking where will McSnot get the money. Well he knows there are no more taxes to be had so he will print it of course. That will kill two birds with one stone pay for his master plane and inflate his way out debt. You have to hand it to him he is a genius, no wonder the dimwits vote for him.

JuliaM said...

Yes, true. But five years of iDave doesn't seem to be the answer either, Theresa...

Mrs Rigby said...

"pay for his master plane ...."

... and fly away?

Five more years and there'll be no need to have a general election ever again.

Antisthenes said...

Mrs Rigby,"Master plane", I am intellectually challenged and illiterate but there was need to point it out!

Jill said...

Wot Julia said.

You're not going to give up on the idea that the Tories present an actual alternative and are worth your vote, are you?

Oh well. At least one of us feels enfranchised.

Lady Virginia Droit de Seigneur said...

If that useless shitbag gets back in I will be seriously looking at an overseas move.

Captain Haddock said...

The Tories might well provide an alternative ..

But never so long as Cameron leads them & his sycophants blindly follow him .. they're simply more of the same, albeit of a different colour & logo ..

What people are crying out for is something DIFFERENT, something which at least might try to redress the balance .. that could be the Tories, if only they had the gumption to recognise the fact and ditch Cameron ..

But sadly, they either can't or more likely won't ..

Anonymous said...

Lady Virgina, if that useless shibag gets in, I reckon they'll batten down the hatches and lock the doors so we can't leave.

What s ahower of utter arsebiscuits!!

Angry Exile said...

I would vote for more chocolate nurses. Otherwise fuck him and everybody like him.

Anonymous said...

So Haddock, assuming the Tories dont get rid of cameron, what is to be done. Anything other than a Vote for the most likely candidate to Beat Labour is in fact a vote for Labour. In real terms this means in most but not all cases a Vote for The Conservatives. You can prattle on all you like about an ideal Tory candidate but it aint going to happen and You have got to decide whether getting rid of Brown and his goons is more important than your principles or not !
Whether you like Cameron or not, he is not any where near as bad as Brown and for that reason only the choice is simple.

Captain Haddock said...

Anon @ 1834 ..

Much of what you say is undoubtedly true ..

The reason why Cameron is nowhere near as bad as Brown, is simply because he's not in power yet ..

I'd vote for next-doors Cat, if it meant getting rid of Labour ..

So, I suspect that in the end I will vote Tory .. much as that will pain me ..

Anonymous said...

CF, you're not suggesting that we vote Tory as an alternative to this nonsense are you?!

The voter is screwed whichever way they turn.


Captain Haddock said...

Why on earth would anyone in their right minds either believe in, or wish to possess a "Nellie" (as in "Pledge" .. remember her?) Card ???

Especially in view of this Court ruling ..


We always knew it to be true .. but now, its OFFICIAL ..

Anonymous said...

It was bliars and mcdooms master plan to flood Gods country with every leeching arsewipe with a pulse safe in the knowledge these wankstains would vote nu labour.You reap what you sow as the old saying gos and once mcdoom has fucked off back to jockland it will be johnny englander who will have to pick up all the pieces-if there were any justice in this world the nu labour champagne socialists should be charged with treason.