Letter from Dave

CF's been catching up with the weekend reading; Mrs CF is away skiing, so all childcare / dog minding / tortoise feeding has been in the hands of a real expert, but the papers 'n' mags have been neglected.

One thing that caught CF's jaundiced eye was the glossy little pull-out in the Spectator, entitled 'How to Save Britain in Ten Easy Steps', wherein various talking heads offer unsolicited advice to CallMeDave and his gang, suggesting what they should do when (if) CMD assumes the mantle of power.

One little gem from this collection was a proposed letter from Dave to all those overpaid public officials.

"If you are receiving this message, it is because you draw a salary, at the expense of British taxpayers, which, pro rata, is equal to or in excess of my own. I don’t know about you, but I certainly feel that my current level of remuneration — £187,750 — is plenty and, as I’m sure you’re aware, I have immediately taken a 5 per cent pay cut. I’m not sure, however, that you will give your own pay similar rigorous scrutiny during these tough fiscal times.

So, please consider this letter as a formal request for me to receive from you, by close of business on Monday, a completed version of the following sentence in 100 words or less: ‘I deserve to draw a salary from taxpayers, greater than that of the democratically elected Prime Minister of the United Kingdom, because...’ Your answers will be analysed and weighed for merit but, obviously, if you decide immediately to take a pay cut to £1 less than me, I’m sure our employees, the British people, will appreciate that very much.

Finally, I reserve the right to publish you answer in full in one week’s time.

With warm wishes,

The Prime Minister"

Go on, CallMeDave, show us you've got some balls, and show us you're in touch. State that you'll send this letter, unedited, on your first day in office.

It's a start.



BenS said...

Hahaha, good one!