We've all done that, haven't we?

We've all had a few - well, a load - too many beers and done some foolish things, haven't we?

Just like this bloke, Marium Varinauskas, who'd sunk one too many ales.

His other half was fed up with him, so she called the police. And then..

"They arrived to find the self-employed engineer sitting on the sofa wearing a pair of underpants"

So far, not too bad. But then, according to prosecuter Elaine Lynch, oh dear, then..

"The accused got to his feet and was standing over the police officer exposing his penis and thrusting it in her face, forcing her to take evasive action to avoid getting struck.""

He tried to hit a policewoman on the head with his truncheon? Ooops. Defending, solicitor John Hardie said:

"He can't remember anything but accepts that if that's what the police say then that's what happened.
"He has never been so drunk before that day"

Well. fair enough. We've all done that before.

Errr... we have all done that, haven't we?

.

14 comments:

Cold Steel Rain said...

I regularly piss in the fridge when I'm trashed with no recollection, Good drills that man!

manwiddicombe said...

...... and the coverage in the news, that he nearly assaulted a police officer with his penis, is in no way getting him beers bought in his local pub. Oh no, not at all .....

Leg-iron said...

I've never whacked a copper with a drunken floppy chopper.

Joe Public said...

He's lucky he wasn't Tasered

SHM said...

'' self-employed engineer''

Oh,... plumber then.

BTS said...

And there was me worried that I wouldn't have anything to do on Saturday night..

banned said...

"Errr... we have all done that, haven't we? err, no actually though several decades ago I awoke to find myself taking a leak into someones pot plant.

Since when did sitting on your sofa in your underpants pissed up your own home constitute a crime? The Police should be doing more important things like celebrating diversity or catching members of the public defending themselves.

Jill said...

I had a boyfriend who urinated into clothes drawers, wardrobes, sinks, out of windows, etc etc, when he got drunk.

Um... I'm not going to go into detail about being "struck" by a drunk penis - but could it reach, and would it hurt?

JuliaM said...

I'd have thought her standing up very suddenly and abruptly would have resolved the matter very nicely!

Furor Teutonicus said...

solicitor John Hardie

Na conme ONNN!

THAT name has got to be a piss take in this case hasn't it?

Jack said...

This is what happens when you abolish minimum height requirements for ossifers!

Furor Teutonicus said...

In London they are known as Metrognomes.

Captain Haddock said...

Perhaps he should have been charged with .. "Attempted assault, with a friendly weapon" ?

Whilst I've never done anything quite like that .. I did do something a wee bit naughty once whilst a patient in RNH (Royal Naval Hospital) Stonehouse, Plymouth ..

I'd been admitted for surgery which was scheduled for late afternoon .. by the time I was surfacing from the anaesthetic it was well into the small hours .. I must have needed the Heads (loos) & made my way to the only part of the ward which was illuminated ..

Which turned out to be the Sister's Office .. according to her the next morning .. I bimbled in, leaned one-handed on the filing cabinet & then peed all over the desk .. gave it a couple of shakes & then staggered back to bed ..

I wasn't the most popular Royal Marine on that ward .. Lol

john miller said...

"The accused got to his feet and was standing over the police officer exposing his penis and thrusting it in her face, forcing her to take evasive action to avoid getting struck.""

Sort of begs the question; why was she kneeling there in the first place? Or is this the modern breed of police person, the 3 foot six cubed one?