The things kids say, eh?

A cute little non-story today tells us - yet again - about some of those hilarious misunderstandings that young children sometimes have.

One in ten of the children surveyed by Birmingham Science City thought that the Queen invented the telephone. Awww, bless.

60% of 9 to 10 year-olds, asked what Sir Isaac Newton discovered, guessed 'fire?' Ohhhh, how sweeeet.

Some thought that the first man to set foot on the Moon had been - tee hee - Richard Branson. Couldn't you just pinch their little cheeks? Isn't it adorable when the little guys think such funny things?

Meanwhile, in another survey funded by the Economic and Social Research Council (who?) some other kids shared their childish perceptions of Africa.

When asked what Africans wear, one child responded "They don’t wear much clothes. They wear straw". Another small person thought "Their houses are made from wood".

A third child, probably remembering one of the thousands of videos forced upon us by Bob Geldof and Lenny Henry, added "Gross things like flies go in their mouths"

Just more of those cute little misconceptions? Just another bunch of funny things kiddies say? Fuck no.

No, no, no. These aren't just the cute things the little 'uns say.

These statements are clear evidence of 'racism'. These children are being 'patronising'. This survey has concluded that kiddies think these things because:

"Badly trained teachers who portray nations as poverty stricken .. are giving children “neocolonialist” views"

What? Are these guys serious? Well apparently they are. According to Dr Fran Martin, who led this second study, the childish views show that..

"..there needs to be a different way of thinking to avoid partnerships having these neocolonialist or racist undertones, or being patronising about another belief system"

What? What the fuck? Don't you love it when the Righteous solemnly inform us that there 'needs to be a different way of thinking'? Yeah, you wish.

Don't you think it's possible, Dr Martin, that the children have these views because .. well because they're fucking children? That their world-view is sometimes limited and simplistic because they're only 10 fucking years old?

Do you really think that we need to indoctrinate them, at a very early age, with your woolly, liberal bullshit?

Well, yes, you probably do.

For fucks sake.



Obnoxio The Clown said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
JuliaM said...

So it's ok to display gross images of third world waifs living on garbage when you want to screw money out of the West, but god forbid your kids repeat what they see in the adverts?

That's one seriously-convoluted world view you have there, whackademics...

JuliaM said...

Ha! And right on cue, there's John Hannah shilling for Uicef over footage of adorable moppet begging for money to feed her little sister in some foreign hellhole...

Captain Haddock said...

"Don't you think it's possible, Dr Martin, that the children have these views because .. well because they're fucking children" ?

It may also be that kids have these views because they're far more perceptive than many adults give them credit for .. They also happen to be correct ..

Someone needs to take one of these head-in-the-clouds,woolly-minded, pinko,liberal,bed-wetting twats & give them a damned good kicking ..

Hopefully,that might inject a little reality into their sad, closeted,rarified academic worlds .. or maybe not ..

Anonymous said...

Just fuck right off Dr Martin and all other publicly funded time wasters like you.

MikeF said...

In the first survey I'll bet my bottom dollar that it was a multiple choice questionnaire.
No way did 60% of the little darlings think Isaac Newton discovered fire. The question is more likely to have been:
"What is Isaac Newton famous for discovering?
1. Fire
2. Water
3. Gravity
4. Kylie Minogue
5. Sausages

In the second survey the "Economic and Social Research Council" got exactly the result they set out to achieve. Using young children to grind their own political axe.
They could have got an even better result if they had used the multiple choice tactic:
Q "What colour is an African person's skin?"
1. Brown
2. Green
3. Chocolate
4. Beautiful
5. White
(I'm rubbish at writing questionnaires, but you get the gist.)

microdave said...

"They don’t wear much clothes. They wear straw".

I'm fairly certain that by the age of nine I would have known the error in that statement.

"There 'needs to be a different way of thinking" - Damn right there does, try teaching them reading, writing and arithmetic for a start!

Disenfranchised of Buckingham said...

I don't see their stupid comments as cute. If the schools and parents had done their job properly they would know about Newton and gravity.

Teachers spend too much time indoctrinating rather than educating. As for Politicized academics hanging is too good for them. BBQ them for poor Africans maybe.

Martin Budden said...

I think these surveys show that children have a sense of humour. When an adult comes around asking a bunch of stupid questions a good proportion of kids are going to give what they regard as the stupidest answer. Who invented the telephone? "The Queen (haha)".

The only people who are stupid are those who take these sorts of surveys seriously.

Disenfranchised of Buckingham said...

And another thing. Some self important bon peasant is on the box saying that the age of criminal responsibity should be increased from 10 to 12.

WTF? I knew it was wrong to steal and murder as a 5 or 6 year old. My kids knew it too.

Parents should be punished as well as their kids for serious crimes comitted by under twelves. That would encourage them drag thir kids up proper.

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