The things kids say, eh?

A cute little non-story today tells us - yet again - about some of those hilarious misunderstandings that young children sometimes have.

One in ten of the children surveyed by Birmingham Science City thought that the Queen invented the telephone. Awww, bless.

60% of 9 to 10 year-olds, asked what Sir Isaac Newton discovered, guessed 'fire?' Ohhhh, how sweeeet.

Some thought that the first man to set foot on the Moon had been - tee hee - Richard Branson. Couldn't you just pinch their little cheeks? Isn't it adorable when the little guys think such funny things?

Meanwhile, in another survey funded by the Economic and Social Research Council (who?) some other kids shared their childish perceptions of Africa.

When asked what Africans wear, one child responded "They don’t wear much clothes. They wear straw". Another small person thought "Their houses are made from wood".

A third child, probably remembering one of the thousands of videos forced upon us by Bob Geldof and Lenny Henry, added "Gross things like flies go in their mouths"

Just more of those cute little misconceptions? Just another bunch of funny things kiddies say? Fuck no.

No, no, no. These aren't just the cute things the little 'uns say.

These statements are clear evidence of 'racism'. These children are being 'patronising'. This survey has concluded that kiddies think these things because:

"Badly trained teachers who portray nations as poverty stricken .. are giving children “neocolonialist” views"

What? Are these guys serious? Well apparently they are. According to Dr Fran Martin, who led this second study, the childish views show that..

"..there needs to be a different way of thinking to avoid partnerships having these neocolonialist or racist undertones, or being patronising about another belief system"

What? What the fuck? Don't you love it when the Righteous solemnly inform us that there 'needs to be a different way of thinking'? Yeah, you wish.

Don't you think it's possible, Dr Martin, that the children have these views because .. well because they're fucking children? That their world-view is sometimes limited and simplistic because they're only 10 fucking years old?

Do you really think that we need to indoctrinate them, at a very early age, with your woolly, liberal bullshit?

Well, yes, you probably do.

For fucks sake.

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