Brown: Green?

Gordon Brown today hauled himself to his feet, picked up his giant marker-penned notes and addressed the thrillingly named 'Major Economies Forum'. And, yes, we're back on that ol' Green bandwagon.

As usual with this PR-hungry, news-manipulating, glory-seeking fucking government, we didn't have to wait for the speech to get reports on what McBroon actually said. No, we got the full pre-spin, the Labour party's announcement of how great the speech was going to be. Naturally, the BBC had been fed endless quotes from the not-yet-made-speech and was broaqdcasting them at 6 a.m., before Brown had even clapped eye on it.

And magnificent, stirring stuff it was. Putting his hand to his forehead, throwing his head back and gazing keenly into the distance, Brown announced in sonorous tones that "We only have fifty days to save the world". Dunt-dunt-dahhh!!!

And of course, Gordon would know: he's always having to save the world. Full-time job, virtually. Save the world from this, save the world from that, and all the while grinning like a lunatic. No wonder his wife takes over the Labour party conference to remind us what an utter hero he is.

But hang on a minute. Why the fuck is Brown doing all this? Don't we already pay a Minister - and a whole fucking department - to worry about the climate? Isn't that little Ed Milliband's job? Wasn't he the author of this patronising and badly received bollocks, urging us all to join in with the pathetic Eds Pledge?

What the flying fuck does Gordon Brown know about climate change? Other than, of course, that its been a fantastic way for him to raise taxes on motorists for the last few years. Filling the coffers by tripling the cost of tax discs, then claiming it's all for the polar bears.

So, Broon, isn't this just yet another cynical attempt at jumping onto a bandwagon?

Your government's on its last legs, no-one wants you to be Prime Minister a minute longer, millions are out of work, soldiers are dying in Afghanistan because you won't give them any equipment and what have you decided to do?

You've decided to muscle in on wee Ed Milliband's job, do a bit of showboating on the world stage, get your gurning grey visage on the telly and in the papers. Well, it won't fucking work.

You won't save your sorry arse pretending to be Green, Brown.



JuliaM said...

"...Brown will announce in sonorous tones that "We only have fifty days to save the world". Dunt-dunt-dahhh!!!"

As long as he prefaces it with 'Flash! Flash, I love you, but...'

Then the speaker can send for the chaps with the white jackets that do up round the back, and all will be well. ;)

Captain Haddock said...

Considering his penchant for consuming his own Bogeys .. Green is a rather apt colour for the Twat !!

Anonymous said...

Good post as always CF.

Off topic but making me furious nevertheless, the Guvmint are considering legal action if the BBC let Nick Griffin on Question Time:

AndrewSouthLondon said...

This climate hysteria is pissing me off big time. From what I read third hand from Christopher Monktons analysis, Copenhagen is the ascendancy of Global Communism, under which rich nations transfer their wealth to poor nations to atone for their Carbon Guilt. I haven't the time to follow it all but if its a fraction true, the front page climate hysteria is a huge smokescreen cover up the biggest non-military coup in global history. 1950's science fiction. World domination by little green men.

Higherstill said...

Well at least Brown is *doing* something and doing it globally. Cameron just put a wind turbine on his own roof. Typcial tories - all talk no action.

AndrewSouthLondon said...

Well I admit doing the wrong thing qualifies as "doing something". Dave should take the turbine down - that would be doing something rather than "nothing" eh?

Conservatives "doing nothing" Now where have I heard that line before?

Anonymous said...

The day any one of these dumb fucks earns a degree in climate modelling (or even some other vaguely relevant subject) is the day that maybe, MAYBE, they might have some cause to lecture the rest of us. Until then, I respectfully suggest they shut the fuck up and stop pontificating on matters about which they know nothing.

That goes double for that irritating waste of oxygen (St.) Bono. Cunt.

Jill said...

Terminal 3?! Gordon bleedin' Waters. They can't join the dots so they don't think we can either? Is that it?

They're going to dig up my greatgrandfather for that, you know. Thank fork I've decamped to Devon.

Jill said...

Oh, runway. Bugger. Sorry!

increasinglymiffed said...

Had me shouting at the radio again this morning. What a total and utter prat he is.

@anon (10:27) - I ranted a bit about that today, too - it's pathetic that they have to resort to law, rather than dealing with the real issues. They hide behind that so much in recent years.

Quiet_Man said...

Utter bollocks from Brown, he really must think we're stupid if we're going to fall for that pile of steaming crap. The planet is in a cooling cycle, it's the watermelons and tax raising politicos who are completely out of touch here.

Anonymous said...

Smacks of the "24 Hours to save The NHS" lying soundbite. Jesus they need to get a new scriptwriter.

Anonymous said...

Oh and Yes Bono is indeed a Cunt of the highest order. After all only a Cunt of such magnitude could lecture the Governments of the World on what action he believes they should take and at the same time arrange his finances so he pays pay next to fuck all Tax to avaoid his share in funding these projects. A total Tit and egotistical wanker par excellance.Fuck Off Bono.

Leg-iron said...

Well, to be fair, the Brown Gorgon has saved me from the perils of wealth.

I protested that I didn't need saving and that I could handle the peril, but no, no, he said, it's far too perilous.

Bravely he took the wealth onto his own shoulders and forced MPs of all parties to carry their part of the burden by inflating their expenses claims.

Now I am free of wealth. And you know what?'s not as great as the Gorgon promised.