Obama's election campaign wins Nobel Prize

Breathlessly breaking news: the saviour of the world, Gordon Brown's best mate, Barack 'one-term Barry' Obama has won the Nobel Peace Prize. As the BBC gushingly reports - they adore that guy - "US President Barack Obama has won the 2009 Nobel Peace Prize".

What? Yes. That's right. The Commander in Chief of the American Army has been given a prize for Peace Making.

A man who is in command of over 65,000 troops in Afghanistan. Troops whose mission is to "crush" an insurgency.

A man who is seriously wondering if he can get away with sending 40,000 more troops to join them, without any political repercussions.

A man who said of the war in Iraq

"We are one people, all of us pledging allegiance to the stars and stripes, all of us defending the United States of America. "

A man who is trying to create another army, a home guard - for American internal security - because

"We cannot continue to rely only on our military in order to achieve the national security objectives that we've set. We've got to have a civilian national security force that's just as powerful, just as strong, just as well-funded. "
Oh yes. That Peace-lovin' man.

Barry beat a record 205 other nominations for this year's prize. Zimbabwe's prime minister and a Chinese dissident had been among the favourites. But they had no chance, no chance at all. How many soldiers have you got in the field, Morgan Tsvangirai? How many insurgencies have you crushed, Hu Jia?

No, it's Barry all the way. Looks like those Norwegians love him almost as much as our Gordon does:

"Only very rarely has a person to the same extent as Obama captured the world's attention and given its people hope for a better future"

Well, up to a point, Lars, or whoever you are. But he's only been president for eight fucking months. And nominations for your little award closed when he'd only been President for 11 days.

All that 'hope' stuff that you seems to love was his fucking election campaign, remember? Not what he's actually done. Dear god.

It's hard to see how Gordon Brown's eulogy, which is doubtless going to broadcast to a grateful nation within hours, could top that nauseating love in.

Brace yourselves. The next few days are going to be tough for all of us. Keep sick bags to hand, and drink plenty of water after vomiting.



INCOMING!!!!!!! said...

I thought you were fuckin' kidding!!!

The man's not even near being qualified!

He hasn't got millions of dead people to his name like previous winners.

I demand a recount, the cunt.

Mind you he'd better not go to Spain he's wanted as a war criminal there.

Jill said...

My jaw honestly hit the floor when I read that headline earlier. Barack Obama gets Nobel Prize for being so super duper brilliant at leading people up the garden path?! Let's hope nobody finds the picture in his attic.

Here's the Spanish Brussels tribunal thing (Maggie's on it, guffaw): http://xrl.us/bfq9vw

Captain Haddock said...

Another Septic TOSSER !!!

JuliaM said...

Doesn't this make him even more like Jimmy Carter?

Hurf Durf said...

Hussein is a fucking joke, just like the Bolshevik Broadcasting Corporation. Whatever criticism of this gimmickry the BBC reports comes from the left. The sooner that piece of shit is totally privatised and destroyed, the better.

Captain Haddock said...

I'll bet the Snot Goblin has already had a hand-shandy on the strength of this news ..

Barking Spider said...

Fuck me what a stitch-up of huge socialist control freak proportions! AND he wants a civilian force that will be loyal to him in the event that the regular forces and the National Guard won't follow his orders if he happens to cause another civil war or there is an army coup to get rid of the fucker?! Communist pig!!

Bill Quango MP said...

Should have gone to Brown. He saved the world you know.

Anonymous said...

Norwegian ??? Fucks sake Furious keep up at the back, Nobel Prizes are a Swedish thing !!!

GoodnightVienna said...

Norwegian. It's the only Nobel prize not presented in Stockholm and the recipient is chosen by a small committee of Norwegian parliamentarians.

Anonymous said...

I stand corrected though I think they should be more correctly termed a bunch of "hysterical Norwegian woman starstck by Obama"

Constantly Furious said...

What GV said.

Keep up, Anony-mouse..

Anonymous said...

Oh come on old fruit I had the decency to apologise and admit I was wrong . You have to learn to be magnanimous in victory or else you are just an old cunt !

David Gillies said...

He'd been in office for eleven days when nominations closed. This is a real Affirmative Action prize, essentially awarded for a) being black and b) sharing with six billion other people the quality that guarantees all others: not being George Bush.

It's materially hurt him, mind. Here in Costa Rica, where Obama's election was greeted with rapture, the mood round the lunch table on Friday was one of open mockery. The current CR president, despite his abortive meddling in the Honduras brouhaha, at least won a Peace Prize for genuinely brokering an end to regional conflict. He is a decent and good man of impeccable moral authority and not some here-today-gone-tomorrow flibbertigibbet like BHO.