The bitch is back

A sharp intake of breath across the land this morning, from those of every political persuasion, with the news that Labour's election campaign will be joined by Mr Anthony Charles Lynton Blair.

What? What the fuck? Tony Blair?

Would this be the same Tony Blair who, at the height of the frenzied bashing of the banks, when financial institutions are being scapegoated for everything from the melting glaciers to the loss of the Titanic, has decided to take on a job with one of the hedge funds that profited enormously from the crash? That Tony Blair?

Is this the same Tony Blair who, in spite of owning properties all over the world and being worth millions following a career in which he achieved, built or created precisely fuck all  has negotiated a deal with that hedge fund that pays him £2,000 per minute? That greedy, greedy Tony Blair?

Are we talking about the same Tony Blair who was widely believed to be the weakest, most self-serving Prime Minister this country had ever had, until his grotesquely incompetent successor proved that it was possible to do even worse?

The Blair who dragged the entire political class down into the mire of spin, smear, evasion and outright lies? That Tony B-liar?

Would it, perhaps, be the Tony Blair who is - later this week - due to appear in front of the latest enquiry into the war in Iraq, a war which we are repeatedly informed was entirely his decision, and which was very probably totally illegal? A man who thousands of bereaved families have to blame for their losses, in an unnecessary and unauthorised invasion??

Apparently, yes, it is him. The very same. The Lord High Mandelson has confirmed it.

Lord Mandelson has decided that Teflon Tony is to be among several high-profile figures who will..

"..join Gordon Brown on the campaign trail. They know as well as everyone what is at stake for the country.

Everyone will get stuck in. Everyone will campaign: Tony Blair, John Prescott, David Blunkett. We need the support of these well-known faces."

No, Manders, you need a fucking miracle of beyond Biblical proportions, love.

But Mandlebum doesn't see it that way: he believes (or says he believes, which with him is totally different) that the election could be similar to the 1992 vote, when then Prime Minister John Major clung to power despite polls' predictions of a Labour win. Yeah, yeah.

Do you really, really believe this bollocks, Foy Boy? And do you really think we're going to swallow it?

The B-liar is going to come back, we're going to welcome him with open arms and then Labour are going to cling on to power, eh?

Just how fucking stupid do you think we are, Mandy?



JuliaM said...

Sadly, I suspect he's calculated that enough of us are that stupid. And every day, I see evidence that makes me think I'm wrong to doubt his reasoning...

Uncle Marvo said...

"No, Manders, you need a fucking miracle of beyond Biblical proportions, love."

Genius. I have just spat my coffee all over my keyboard.

I shall link to this immortal line, CF, and have a brilliant day.

Beware of Geeks bearing GIFs said...

Yes, brilliant line!

However, I have a suspicion that JuliaM is right - never underestimate quite how stupid people are, especially Plod come to that matter.

Captain Haddock said...

I wish I could find words adequate enough to express just how much I detest & despise this smug bastard ..

Jill said...

Don't you mean hundreds OF THOUSANDS of bereaved families? Or doesn't Johnny Foreigner count?

John Pickworth said...

"... that the election could be similar to the 1992 vote, when then Prime Minister John Major clung to power despite polls' predictions..."

While I agree with EVERYTHING you said; I do fear that Labour 'could' yet swing it.

Looking back just a few short years, Major's Government lurched from one crisis to another. Many, its fair to say, probably rated John Major as a piss poor PM. Frankly, its a wonder his Government lasted as long as it did, nevermind get reelected. But even at its worse, they were barely a fraction as sleazey, fraudulent, incompetent or as deadly to the the British way of life or to the economy as the current shower of f**kwits!

The point is; how have Labour lasted so long? Seriously, their wrap-sheet is absolutely huge, any one item from it would have toppled a Government/PM of old and often did. But not this lot!

What's different?

Why is it that the Tories are still tainted after all these years but Blair and Brown's many crimes and abuses of power are either ignored or simply forgotten? I mean, the Bernie Ecclestone affair right back at the beginning should have been enough... but they've given us pay-for-peerages, dodgy dossiers and MPs expenses since and still the public don't kick-off like they did in the early 90's! Why?

They're like zombies it seems, they just keep coming back.

Anonymous said...

Unfortunately far too many are THAT stupid.

It was all part of the plot... trash good education, bring everyone down to idiot and ensure that culture is reduced to big brother and strictly dancing on something x factor.

Much easier to feed them bullshit that way.

Uncle Marvo said...

More research ... there's something very wrong here.

According to this official report ( ) Blair is the most unpopular bloke in Britain. Mandy is the 49th. Brown isn't even in it.

Perhaps Gordo was just disqualified for getting more than 100% of the votes, or something.

So why will Blair make it better?

Well done NuLab. Just give them enough rope, they'll do the job.

Anonymous said...

Blunkett ???? One of the most inept and stupid Home Secretarys EVER and lets not forget his misconduct in public Office together with Robber Baron Prescot !!! That Fuckin Blunket ?? That fucking Prescot ? What the Fuck !! is Mandleson putting together some kind of kamakazi team intend on Political suicide. Looks like it with thaat shower of odious incompetents !

Anonymous said...

Out on the trail?

safety off....

Barking Spider said...

I fell about laughing when I heard Blair was being brought in.

Blair, Prescott & Blunkett will be as much use to Labour's election campaign as a one-legged man in an arse-kicking contest - just as the Welsh Windbag blew it for them in 1992 - McShite will blow it all by himself, anyway!

annie besant said...

Fabulous - can't wait to see his reception on the stump on the TeeVee :o)

Captain Haddock said...

Let's just hope & pray that between them they manage to drag down Socialism and all its evils with the same brutal efficiency which they've employed in dragging the country down ..

Anonymous said...

New Labour and Finished Labour. Blair can see them both in, how fitting.