Why vote Lib Dem?

Yes, Nick Clegg did an absolutely super job on that quiz show, eleX-factor, and now the hand-wringing bien pensants over at Grauniad have declared their undying love for him, but what real reasons are there to vote Yellow?

Their policies have mostly crumbled when exposed to daylight, the few that they still stand by are insane - join Greece in the Euro, anyone? - and they want Britain's finances to be controlled by a confused old man who used to work in a bank.

And of course, there's still the worry, at the back of everyone's minds, that if the boy Clegg gets himself into any position to influence events, he'll be tricked into opening a portal to another dimension - the Labour Party - and all sorts of hideous creature - Brown, Balls, Mandelson - will creep back into power.

So why would anyone vote Lib Dem?

Jeff over at SNP Tactical Voting thinks he knows why: because they're bored. As he says

"The list of “writers, thinkers, artists and academics” who signed a letter backing the Liberal Democrats last week, ensuring that Clegg-mania lives on, proclaim how exciting the election is, even how “revolutionary” Clegg may be, but reading between the lines they seem to be patting themselves on the back for ripping up the script, for turning the old two-party system into a three-way, ‘up for grabs’ titillating showdown. It is the adult equivalent of a grinning child knocking over a tin of orange paint just to see what happens. The Guardian, I hear today, has followed suit.

"Of course Labour has let down the lefties in this country but the under-scrutinised and over-exposed Lib Dems shouldn't automatically reap the reward, even if spiky Nick has positioned himself well for it. These days, attention spans have been crammed so stupefyingly short that if you can’t say it in 140 characters then people won’t be interested. Instant gratification and continuous contentment are the orders of the day.

"So who wouldn’t vote Lib Dem with such an attitude? Like a diluted version of the Monster Raving Loony Party you can vote for cut price nuclear weapons that don’t exist and a £17bn tax break that will be partly funded by clamping down on that old chestnut tax evasion. You can vote for the ‘green’ Liberal Democrats despite that party knocking back windfarms up and down the country and there being an actual, you know, “Green Party” on the ballot slip.

"We don’t yet know if all this mansion tax and immigration amnesty stuff is pie in the sky but hey, who cares, it’s fun, so why not join the latest craze. In the summer we can all have a pillow fight outside St Paul’s Cathedral and do a group Macarena at Kings Cross just like in those T-Mobile adverts. What a lark that’ll be, we’ll bring Vince along if he wears his funny hat. Anything that keeps us entertained will fit the bill."

Yup, that pretty much sums up the sad state of politics in this country today, doesn't it?

As Jeff concludes:

"Vote Brown, get Brown. Vote Cameron, get Cameron. .. Vote Lib Dem, get a nice fuzzy feeling for a while."

Is that what you want?



marksany said...

Only three reasons real voters vote LibDem
1. they are actual LibDems (sandals, futons etc)
2. They want Gordon out
3. They want to prevent Cam getting in

Polly for example, is a 3

Jill said...

Since you're a libertarian, I should have thought the Freedom Bill was a damn compelling reason for you to vote Lib Dem, let alone anyone else. Don't see iDave promising anything like that. More blinkered posting, CF.

I'm seriously tempted by that bill, but it's odds on that I'll still be spoiling my ballot paper.

Cold Steel Rain said...

Vote LibDem? I'd rather boil my bollocks in a bucket of Taliban piss.

Anonymous said...

The one policy of theirs that will sink them, denied by Cleggy in the last debate, but one of their policies nonetheless, is the 600k illegal immigrant amnesty.

Sorry Clegg, you were doing so well as a vacuous pin-up boy, but it was inevitable that one of your ill-thought out policies would rise up to bite you, and this was the policy. If you want to legitimise those immigrants who are employed and paying their taxes then this is arguably a good idea, but not an idea that you should have entertained in the current climate.

Perhaps you should have learned a lesson from Labour, talk immigration down whilst throwing the doors wide open?

Anonymous said...

Hard to disagree with any of that, painful to agree with it.
Our real names here in France are Janet and John, a childhood memory that nevertheless applies perfectly to the way UK politics are these days. But she calls me Victor, while I call her Sybil. The only way through this nightmare is to laugh about it. Fawlty would've shot all of them.

Anonymous said...

Are the Lib Dems the Political equivalent of "Dwarf Sex" you know bored with the conventional and indulging in stuff just because its different ???

bnzss said...

On the other hand, raising the personal tax allowance is probably the best idea I've heard from any of the 3 so far.

Jock Coats said...

"Their policies have mostly crumbled when exposed to daylight"

I don't think you should get away with that! Go on, let's hear the ones you think have "crumbled" - and no, you're not allowed to claim that bollocks spouted by partisan media that don't really reflect those policies as "exposed to daylight".

I think people forget, for example, that there were a good number of libertarians this time last year wondering whether the Euro might possibly be an option as our "gold standard" because of the way we were printing money and their systems seemed to prevent such fiat inflation.

As a market-anarchist, none of the main parties or most of the smaller ones offer anything remotely like what I would want, but I see very little difference between them and many policies of all three and fundamentally illiberal. None of them have a right or competence to rule over me, but we're going to end up with someone trying.

Frankly I'd probably rather have a "hanged parliament" - who wants "strong government" anyway? And as part of that package I wouldn't mind a Freedom Bill and a partner in government whose party members have the sort of ability, unique amongst the big three anyway, of changing policy even as their parliamentarians are still arguing it in parliament if it is bad policy and legislation, such as with the Digital Economy Bill.

And I don't for one minute believe that either Tories or Labour are actually ideologically capable of the sort of reduction in the state - particularly the privileges of welfare on the one hand and corporate cronyism on the other because they attack their core vested interest voters. Whereas attacking privilege and monopoly ought to be in Liberal DNA - and still is for many - if they can be persuaded that it won't harm their precious favourite disadvantaged groups.

I'd frankly far rather have a party of sandals and futons (neither of which I own personally anyway) than of people who believe innately that everything wew own is theirs for the taking on the one hand or that hanging, flogging and castrating gays and immigrants is right on the other.