Labour leader without balls?

Whining leftie 'commentator' Johann Hari is not happy. We haven't got the Government he wanted. So naturally, he rephrases that from his own blinkered viewpoint: 'This is not what the British people voted for'. Isn't it? Did we all get it wrong, Johann?

He tells us what we're missing out on following our foolish, foolish voting, by listing the Labour parties 'true' achievements:

"..redistributive tax credits, doubled spending on the NHS, the minimum wage"

And? And? Oh, that's the lot. 13 fucking years, and that's all they can boast about? No wonder they were shown the door, eh?

He then indulges in the usual leftie technique, waring us of all the terrible things the eevil ConDems will force upon us:

"Schools will now get a big cash bonus for taking in poor children, reversing the social apartheid in our playgrounds. There will now be considerably higher taxes on Capital Gains – the shares and second homes owned by the rich. Planes, the most environmentally destructive form of travel, will now face higher taxes"

Gather the wagons in a circle, ma, we're all doomed! Slight confusion here, it would seem. We didn't vote for that?

But the Hari saves the best 'til last, when he shares with us his views on the next leader of the Labour party. He doesn't think it should be Milliband Major - oh no. Too far to the right, you see:

"David Miliband is the candidate of the people who poisoned the New Labour years with right-wing fantasies. Peter Mandelson is merrily pushing him as the Blairite who can most attract wealthy donors and remains unrepentant about Iraq."

So come on then, you tedious old leftie, who should it be?

"It looks like Yvette Cooper is standing aside for her husband, Ed Balls – but she is a far more impressive candidate, and should be urgently pressed to reconsider."

What? What the fuck? Yvette Cooper for leader? Yvette for PM in 2015? What have you been smoking, Johann. Why her?

"Cooper is rooted in the Labour tradition – her grandfather was a miner, her father was a trade unionist"

Oh, right. Is that it? No. That just makes her palatable to the party. Apparently, her real strong point, the reason she should be leader, is that she has no testicles. Really:

"Labour hameorraghed female voters at this election, while women in all parties were relegated to the role of silent beaming wives .. Isn't Cooper a great attention-grabbing antidote? Or do we still live in a 1950s world of brilliant women stepping aside for their less impressive husbands?"

Well you're right that Yvette's husband is 'less impressive'. Ed Balls is 'less impressive' than creatures that lurk at the bottom of stagnant ponds, for fuck's sake.

But really, Yvette Cooper to be leader, to lead the charge in the commons? Just because she's a lady? An 'attention grabbing antidote'?

Dick Clameregg must be absolutely fucking delighted.



Joe Public said...

CF - Don't point out their errors

JuliaM said...

As a female voter, can I point out that Hari has lost what few marbles he possessed if he thinks I'd vote for Cooper (or anyone, frankly) simply because we have a matching set of genitals...

Jess The Dog said...

Little Johann must write in crayon, the drivel he comes out with.

What happened to the provocative left-wing commentators? Nick Cohen for example?

All we have now are toadies and whiners like Hari and Aaronovitch, and those who occasionally glance down at us mortals from their champagne socialist heights like Toynbee.

Anonymous said...

He believes in AGW as well ,what a sucker.

Bobski said...

Damn you CF!

I was going to, likewise, rip Hari's article to shreds; only, you've gone and beaten me to it.

mungle said...

From the Cambridge traitors of the thirties right up to the present day lefties have always been plagued by the stupidity of the electorate-if only they (the electorate) could see things as clearly as we can.

The spies and traitors of the thirties *knew* they were right about communism so they would just have to take matters into their own hands until the blinkered masses saw sense.

Anonymous said...

Would this be the same Yvette Cooper made to look a fool by Ian Hislop on QT?

Yeah, she'd be great - should guarantee the lefties don't get a sniff of power for a decade or two.

Mrs Rigby said...

If Labour elected themselves a female party leader they'd prove they were as 'equal opportunity' as the horrid Tories - who had one years ago, and who managed it without any all-female shortlists.

Will Cooper win the prize? No!

How many female union leaders are there? - It's the Unions that will call the tune, probably.

Captain Haddock said...

And from just where does this Johann Hari (whom I'd never heard of before now) originate ?

Good old English names those eh ?

Anyway, its entirely typical of the Socialist movement to allow themselves to be led by the Balls ..

Jill said...

Yvette! God, isn't it scary that an Independent columnist can suggest a flag bearer for expenses and someone with no charisma whatsoever as a potential leader of our second party. They must have someone good, although I confess that I struggle to find a candidate I'd like.

It's a bit like having that mongtard, or whatever Obo calls people, Theresa May as Home Secretary. She's an idiot with absolutely no ability whatsoever.

Where ARE all the good women?

paulo said...

Yvette Cooper as leader of the Labour Party? - what a truly magnificent idea!


Anonymous said...

That'll be the same Yvette Cooper who masterminded HIPS & managed to bring the housing market almost to a standstill? The same HIPS that is now being repealed?
The same Yvette Cooper who with her husband Ed Balls, claimed expenses twice for everything, becasue there were two of them until they were stopped? The same Yvette Cooper who with Balls again 'flipped' her house how many times? Avoided paying CGT on house sales how many times? Sounds a real winner!